Alan Grayson asks a poignant and simple question: Rather than giving trillions in tax dollars to failed banks, are there other ways to save the economy? More troubling than the bankers inability to hypothesize potential alternatives, is there utter failure to even comprehend the question.
I’ve been against the bailouts for real ya’ll (well, except for the NYE Bailout Party that I put on) and for good reason. The first is common sense; Would aggressive horned up frat bros with coke habits be awarded with degrees after they failed out of college? Of course not! So why award them after they’ve royally fucked up the economy?
The second reason is fairness and confidence. Think about the responsible squares out there that obeyed the rules. What do you think they’re saying to themselves right about now? “I should’ve cheated my way through econ 101, pledged a frat, drank from kegs of Natty Lite, had a lot of unconsensual sex, caught a few STDs, and made sure I finished last at the pledgee circle jerk. WTF was I thinking?”
The final reason is the domino effect that this has undoubtedly caused. All the sleazy degenerate dirtbags are running around Washington D.C. with their hands out. Heck, even Joe Francis (of “You’re underage but I’ll give you a t-shirt to get naked” fame), Larry Flint (of ‘Chester the Molester‘ fame) and the rest of the Porn Industry is looking for a peice of the action (see clip below).
Ahhh fuck-it… I say give it to them, they’re just as deserving if not more. Besides, do you think we could survive a porn industry failure?
